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I am but a sinner. Redeemed, forgiven and loved by God. Nothing that I do can save me. In love with the one who loved me first. <3


(of a person) not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious:

They say, “To get rid of insecurities, you must definitely love yourself. Because when everyone leaves, who else is left but you.” But what if you have left to NOT believe in yourself anymore, when you come to a point that even you can’t love you, who else is left?

To answer your mind bubble formed questions, yes, I have always felt that way, honestly. Whenever I see someone so pretty my insecurities starts to rise up and me being pulled down deep under. I always think that people likes her/him than me because they have a VERY ‘pleasing personality’, even when I apply for a job. Even though I thought I already gave my best during the interview I always have set in my mind that I won’t be accepted because I’m not pretty. Pretty much of a masochist right? Yes, I torture myself into a thinking that nobody will like me because of my ‘horrible’ face and body figure. And yes, that’s how cruel I am to myself. But what I thought of as a form of ‘super’ humility turned out to be an idolatry. Yes, you read it right! The things I did to myself was a combination of idolatry and pride. Idolatry in a sense that I was already too focused on myself rather than glorifying God, which is the prime purpose for my existence. Pride on the other hand, speaks of how I thought of myself (No-one-should-be-above-me personality).

So yup! back to the question Who else would be left if your friends and even yourself leaves you in times when you are really feeling down and low about your self? GOD — He is the beginning and the end, the first and the last, He is EVERYTHING. So when you think you don’t love yourself anymore? Go back to the one who created you — GOD. He is the reason for your existence and He assures His love to you. ‘Coz when you ain’t got any love left for yourself, He got lotsa love that He so willing to pour in to you. Don’t love yourself too much, love God instead and your love, surely won’t go to waste! :)

I want to scream and shout and let it all out.

I want to curl and hurl.

I want to say i’m sorry for not being perfect.

But I won’t baby this conceitedness of mine.

For my God is not being glorified.

I will praise Him for what He was done.

I will praise Him for what He has given.

Everywhere I go and whatever happens to my life,

Whether good or bad, I will still praise Him!!

Yes, you got it right! this post is about me being jealous about something I don’t have. And that would be the looks. Yes, friends tell me I’m beautiful just because they’re obliged to just to not hurt me. But truthfully i’m not. :( My leader once said that i’m beautiful because I don’t lack any body part. Well, there is a very big difference between complete and beautiful I must say. Why do I have such an issue in this area of talk? Well, the only reason I can think of is the treatment difference between the “world’s context of beauty” and the “complete body part beauty”. When you are one of the “world’s context of beautiful” well then, lucky you my friend, you will be treated well by people, they respect you, yes; they adore you, uhu; they make friends with you, freakin’ right; and most of all, they buy you anything you want with just a wink of an eye. ;) They describe you as someone who has a certain way of getting through things with your sweet, cute little gestures which of course won’t fit with those who are “complete body part beautiful” people, just soooo poor people, poor me. Yes, I am being self-pity here, but what can I do if people make me feel this way. ugh!!! It hurts my head, because I certainly know that I should not think neither feel this way especially now that I am already bound to Christ’s love, but I just really can’t help thinking about it. >_< So yah, I posted this article to rant about my thoughts and ideas about insecurity and jealousy.

Nonetheless, I know that my self-worth should not be bound to how people will accept me, or how people will react to my presence. It should only be bound to the one and only giver of full love, someone who accepts me for who I am, and someone whom I can trust to tell me the truth fully with no obligation whatsoever to tell me I am beautiful and Important. That would be Christ. My greatest lover and best rant-hearer of all times. I should not feel that way, just because I wasn’t fully appreciated by people surrounding me. I have trust issues, yes. But I know I can fully trust God with this one —  Changing me!


Are You a Good Person?  It takes more than being a “nice” person to get to heaven.  It takes Jesus!! 

“Worship is the strategy by which we interrupt our preoccupation with ourselves and attend to the presence of God. “ - Eugene Peterson


think they are not beautiful…. you’re wrong. In our society though, it’s hard not to think that. With all these skinny models, actresses, and others being thrown at us…. how can we not think that? We have to dig to find things to inspire us to feel beautiful. Why can girls only feel beautiful for…


Let’s focus on that statement alone.

Now, girls, if you are a good person, you are not ugly. It’s that kind of attitude that makes girls vulnerable to those people that know just what to say (and aren’t even sincere about it).

Learn how to call yourself beautiful, so that when that person comes…


I don’t know where to put this, so I’ll put it here…

Stop saying that you’re ugly!

I understand that yes, people truly don’t feel like they are good looking. I was there once. I would look in the mirror and find all my flaws. I’d ask myself “Why does my boyfriend love me? I’m so PLAIN!”

But I…

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